Make new friends, meet people, and get in touch with people. How can I do that when it was hard for me? Kindly to these 5 tips. ”
It’s great to share your interests, thoughts and feelings with other people. Philosophizing together. Entrusting a friend with his worries. Climb a mountain together with his buddies. Or go shopping with your best friend. Together, life is just more fun.
But what do you do when a friend and acquaintance for joint ventures are missing? In the article Get out of the loneliness we have already written a bit about it. And a tip was that you should work on his social skills. Because to find friends or even a life partner, one must first be able to make contact with other people. This is always the first step before a deeper relationship can form. And how do you do that? How do you get in contact with other people?
Here are some tips for you:
Tip 1: Practice…
Few things work the first time. This also applies to speak to people you do not know yet. I’ll tell you honestly: For a long time, I’ve been a more reserved and shy person. And I’ve rarely been in public contact with other people. And because that bothered me, I decided to change that. And I started to practice the response of strangers. And today it is easy for me to get in touch with people. Because I really practiced it. Because I allowed myself to fall on my nose often. And because I kept going until I could. The important thing about practicing is that you can count every attempt and every practice as a success.
It’s not about getting started on a deep conversation with another person right away and making you both friends for life. For starters, it’s enough to dare talk to someone, and then perhaps exchange a few sentences before going their separate ways. Or it is enough that you change with the waitress in the restaurant beyond the order a few words. Or that you compliment an unknown man on the street: “Nice butt”, for example. A man Über is happy about something like that
Practice. And practice means: do it. Allow yourself to fail. Learn from your failures. Do it again. As long as you can. This also applies to address people. And if you really mean to practice, then you even set yourself a daily goal: Today I exchange a few words with at least 3 strangers or online free chat rooms.
Tip 2: Start small online free chat
If you want to practice talking to people, then please start as small as possible. DO NOT plan to talk to your dream girl you see on the bus every day. No, start with small challenges. Because there is no faster way to frustration than to overstrain oneself and overreach oneself. Small challenges could be: Exchange a few words with the cashier in the supermarket. Talk to a colleague in the office, whom you may not yet know, but have often seen.
Go to a regulars’ table or network meeting and meet new people at the table by introducing yourself and looking for a conversation. If you are in line, for example in a shop or in the cinema, then talk to the people in front or behind you. Visit a training event and look for a conversation with the other participants. Make a comment to the people sitting at the next table in the restaurant or café. Ask a stranger about the way or about the time. Start with situations where you do not have much to lose.
Tip 3: Get to the bottom of your fears
Do you get at the tips here slowly beads of sweat on the forehead or packing a massive malaise? Then you may have fears when it comes to addressing strangers. Let’s take a closer look. If you address someone in the café or in the supermarket…
What exactly could happen in the worst case?
What exactly do you have to lose?
And if the response fails and it may even be a bit embarrassing: What impact will that have on you in 2 weeks, 2 months or 2 years? Please answer these questions for yourself. What should happen? And would that really be so dramatic? Maybe you are worried about your dignity and your self-worth. But here is: A failure always has only the meaning that you give the thing.
You can also look at failure like this:
At least I dare.
At least I tried.
I am someone who takes his life in his hands and jumps over his shadow. My value as a person certainly does not depend on whether someone gives me a basket or not. And yes, especially in the practice phase something can go wrong if you make contact. And amazingly, that will not be up to you most of the time:
The other may just have a bad day and is mauling and dismissive.
The other one is shyer than you and does not get it out of the blue to talk to you.
The other is an arrogant egomaniac who did not deserve you.
The other has just annoyed about something and you get that now.
The other is currently very dissatisfied with himself and therefore not open to contact.
You can do nothing but make contact online by using the free chat. And the other must also do its part. If he does not want that, it’s usually not your fault.
Tip 4: Right and wrong
If you are looking for a partner, then please also heed the following wisdom:
“The right person cannot go wrong and the wrong thing cannot do anything right. “That means as much as if the other one has already put you in a drawer or you just are not the right type, then you cannot score with the most sovereign and skillful contact maneuver. But if your counterpart somehow finds you attractive, then the clumsiest turn-on also works. Taste cannot be argued. For some, I’m an attractive man and an unsightly guy for the other. We all have our tastes and preferences. And we do not want anyone to feel personally attacked if they do not suit our taste.
Tip 5: Make contact online by using free chat rooms
How can one really establish contact with another human being? How do you set it to talk to someone? In the beginning, it is necessary to attract the other’s attention. The easiest way is to make eye contact. So look the other in the eye and wait for him to notice you and look back. Then the free chat can begin. If the other one does not look at you, you first have to get his attention. Here it is a “hello!” Or an “apology!” OK. And what do you say then? There are different ways:
Ask a question – Are you here more often? Is there something to consider here? Can you recommend something here? Do you happen to know where Schillerstrasse is? Where did you get this T-shirt from? Do not we know each other…? Have not I seen you in the…? Can a man wear such a color? May I ask you for an appraisal of my hairstyle? Make a serious compliment – you have great hair. I really like your suit. A wonderful dress. Handsome upper arms. You are the friendliest waitress I have ever met.
Name (if possible) similarities – you ordered the same food as me. Your glasses are also from Ray-Ban, are you satisfied? You have the same phone as me, what do you like best about it? And once you get into a conversation, it’s time to keep the conversation going. The easiest way is by doing two things: Ask questions about what your counterpart tells you, and attach to detail of your interlocutor and tell something about you. A: Oh, you did a cooking class? Where then?
B: That was in Mario’s cooking school, that’s on Wiener Plats.
A: Oh, at Wiener Plats. I once had a friend who had a nice apartment there. How many hours did the cooking class have?
Ask. Tell me about yourself. Ask. Tell me about yourself. How to keep a conversation going.
These are the 5 tips that will help you get into a conversation with people: Train the response. Do not start with too big a challenge. Face your fears and qualify what you are afraid of. Remember: the right one cannot go wrong and the wrong thing cannot do it right. Make the contact through a question, a compliment or similarities.